keep it wholesome

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

 

Ephesians 4:29-32

 

I just read one of the BEST articles on marriage and how to show your husband respect by guarding what you say. (Thanks Jennifer for sharing the link!) I am inspired and I want to share it with you so you can be inspired as well: Here are some of the highlights that really stood out for me:

 

DO NOT bash your husband to other people. EVER. Honor him with every word!

 Running him down with your words is VERY disrespectful. Even if your husband doesn’t ever find out about it – talking about him in a negative light sets off a series of disrespectful thoughts in your mind that will erode your respect for him over time. And the people you talk to may hold a grudge against your man or think ill of him for the rest of their lives. You can’t take those words back.

 

If he DOES find out what you said – he will be extremely hurt and his trust in you will be shattered. Your words to someone else may well destroy your relationship with the man you love.

 DISRESPECT IS CONTAGIOUS!

 If your friends badmouth their boyfriends/husbands and badmouth other people in their life, YOU WILL BE TEMPTED to do the same! It is so easy to turn a wonderful time with our girl friends into a gossip-fest and man-bashing session that is extremely dishonoring to God, to ourselves and to our men. That is sin. It is ugly. It is destructive. It contributes to the breakdown of MANY relationships. NOT WORTH IT!

  know that if you are having a fight with your man, it is really, really tempting to run to everyone in your life (other than him) and vent, running him down, telling them all about the awful way he treated you and how horrible he is. Then they will pat you on the back and sympathize with you and agree with you that he is Satan and you are a total victim. As soon as you see yourself as a victim – you are powerless to do anything constructive. But you know what? An argument or misunderstanding usually has guilt on BOTH sides of the relationship. There is almost never one party who is 100% innocent. How much more constructive to focus on what YOU did to contribute to the problem and to try to work through it with God and your guy.

 

I really love this next section: It's about FACEBOOK. I seem to have a super sense about inappropriate ness on Facebook. I'm super sensitive to it.

 

There are SO MANY opportunities to disrespect your man on this medium.  It is quite terrifying.  And many women do a really horrible job of showing proper respect here.

 *DO NOT talk about the details of your relationship on FB!!!!  PLEASE!!!!!  I am begging y’all!

*Complaining about your man’s habits, his diet, how he looks, how he dresses, who he is talking to, his job, his parenting skills, his romantic abilities, his faults, his bad habits, his hygiene, his snoring, his unthoughtful behavior is extremely disrespectful!  And it makes you look awful.  This reveals much more about YOUR character than it does about his.

DISCRETION AND WISDOM

It is time for us to learn to have discretion – not sharing intimate details of our relationships with other people.  And it is time for us to learn wisdom – keeping a hedge of protection around our relationships and valuing our men MORE than our desire to entertain our girlfriends with funny, sarcastic, biting criticisms of him.

God instructs us that he who holds his tongue is wise – and where words are many, sin is not absent (Proverbs).  He also instructs us:

 

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.  And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  Ephesians 4:29-32