The Southerner Test

Of course, everybody knows that the only things that make you a true Southern woman is to own a deviled egg plate and a set of iced tea spoons! If you don't have these, it doesn't matter if you were born in Atlanta, Savannah, New Orleans or Corpus Christi, you ain't Southern!

Southern women know their summer weather report: HumidityHumidityHumiditySouthern women know their vacation spots: The beachThe rivuhThe crickSouthern women know everybody's first name:Honey (or “hun” for short)Darlin'ShugahSouthern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:Fried Green TomatoesDriving Miss DaisySteel MagnoliasGone With The WindSouthern women know their religions: BaptistMethodistFootballSouthern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:Chawl'stn S'vanahFoat Wuth (my favorite!)N'awlinsAddlanna (aka “Hotlanna”)Southern women know their elegant gentlemen: Men in uniformMen in tuxedosRhett ButlerSouthern girls know their prime real estate:The MallThe Country ClubThe Beauty SalonSouthern girls know the 3 deadly sins:Having bad hair and nailsHaving bad mannersCooking bad foodMore Suthen-ism's: Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them._____Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." _____Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder." _____Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."_____Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. _____All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well._____Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin! _____Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20_____Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. _____No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn._____A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb._____Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody! _____Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage._____In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural._____Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them._____Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food. _____When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!_____Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk. _____And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way._____To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!_____And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language! _____And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could." Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !Now...... Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been! If you're a Northern transplant,bless your little heart, fake it. We know you got here as fast as you could